Parenting a teenager is never easy. Young adults have very volatile emotions. They are susceptible to peer pressure and often push back against their parents as they try to establish their own identities. The pressure on the family when parents divorce may only worsen the conflict between children and their parents.
Teenagers are more likely than younger children to take sides in a divorce. They may blame one parent for the failure of the marriage. Other times, they may simply prefer to spend more time with one parent than the other. It is natural for someone already dealing with a strained parent-child relationship to worry about what divorce might mean for that situation.
A parent in New York might fear long-term estrangement from their children depending on the outcome of custody proceedings. They may worry that a teenage child might ask the courts to live with their other parent. Can a teenager decide their own living and custody arrangements when their parents divorce or separate in New York?
Teenagers don’t have full independence yet
No matter how mature teenagers think of themselves as, they are still technically children. Their brains have not finished developing, and they often make choices that are not in their own best interests. They rely on their parents to guide them and provide them with structure.
A young adult does not have control over the custody terms set by the New York family courts. At most, they can express their personal preferences. A judge can then decide how much weight to give the teenager’s preference based on their understanding of the family situation.
Judges typically expect parents to share time with the children. If one parent does have more parenting time and residential responsibility than the other, a judge is likely to expect them to encourage the children or even force the children to spend time with the other parent in accordance with the custody order.
No matter how difficult the relationship between a parent and child currently is, there is always an opportunity for healing and growth. In some cases, it may be necessary to go to counseling either together or separately as a parent to help work on that damaged relationship. Other times, simply showing up consistently can be enough to remind a teenager that they are a priority for a parent.
Understanding how the courts handle difficult custody scenarios can help parents feel better prepared when they must go to family court for custody-related issues. Teenagers may have an opportunity to express their wishes, but their preferences are only one of many considerations a judge integrates into a final order.