Changes that come with new child custody arrangements and divorce can impact everyone in the family. For children, these changes can often feel like a loss of stability. The experience may impact a child’s physical and emotional wellbeing. It is important to remember that with support from their parents and other trusted individuals in their lives most children recover from divorce and custody changes without long-term impacts. This support can include a mental health professional.
The Emotional Impact of Divorce and Child Custody Arrangements
The impact of divorce and changes to family arrangements on children varies greatly depending on age, support from parents, caregivers, and/or trusted adults, and other factors. Young children may have a hard time understanding why they need to go between two homes. They may also have worries that if their parents can stop loving each other, their parents may stop loving them. Grade school children may blame themselves for the changes, believing that they misbehaved or did something wrong to cause the changes. Adolescents may exhibit anger about the divorce or changes in child custody. They may place blame on one or both parents, potentially causing feelings of resentment. It’s important to remember that family dynamics are unique. For situations where abuse, fighting, or yelling has occurred, children may feel relieved by the separation, knowing that it could mean an end to a hostile home environment.
Research has shown that children struggle most in the first year or two after a divorce or change in custody arrangements, often experiencing distress, anger, anxiety, and possibly disbelief. They may also feel scared, confused, and frustrated. Regardless of age, gender, or culture, children may experience increased mental health issues. Divorce and changes in child custody can cause adjustment disorders (that typically resolve in a matter of months), depression, and anxiety. Children may also experience externalized problems as well, including anti-social behavior, acting out, getting in trouble, and impulse control issues. Additionally, children may experience issues in self-esteem which can lead to depression.
Emotional impacts are not only experienced by the children in these situations, but also the parents. The experience of divorce or changes to child custody and visitation can be one of the most difficult and traumatic experiences of a person’s life. Parents can experience a loss in a lifestyle that they have become accustomed to, feelings of grief about goals for the future, worries about children, loss of mutual friends, and financial changes. There may also be significant emotional impacts from the end of a relationship. Feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are all possible. Parents may also feel as though they have failed.
Mental Health Professionals and Processing Emotional Impacts
There are many benefits to seeking mental health care during divorce and in situations where there are changes in child custody and visitation. A mental health professional can provide emotional support and help cultivate stability. Therapy can be a safe space for children and parents alike to understand, express, and process the complex feelings that come with these situations, and develop tools for coping and managing stress. Mental health support can help children to adjust to new schedules, routines, and living arrangements.
Working with a mental health professional can also improve communication, which helps parties to express their needs, wants and concerns more clearly. Improved communication may lead to more amicable agreements, reduce the likelihood of conflicts between parties and better conflict resolution. Therapy helps to address and highlight underlying issues and facilitate constructive discussions, which can lead to better outcomes for all parties involved. An added bonus to counseling during this process is that it may help to reduce the overall cost of litigation. Better conflict resolution means less time, money, and effort spent in court.
Mental Health Professionals and Forensic Evaluations
Aside from offering emotional support and coping mechanisms for dealing with the stress and changes of a divorce or child custody arrangements, mental health professionals may also offer their services through a forensic evaluation. In New York, forensic evaluations are ordered by the court and are conducted by a mental health professional who is appointed by the court. The purpose of a forensic evaluation is to provide balanced and non-biased information and feedback about custody to the court, particularly when parents cannot come to an agreement or when there are allegations of child abuse, neglect, parental unfitness, or substance use. Typically forensic evaluations are facilitated by a psychologist or psychiatrist, but can be conducted by a social worker who has undergone the proper training. Forensic evaluations usually involve interviews with parents, children, caregivers, and other family members. Collateral sources can also be used, such as teachers and medical professionals. Forensic evaluations can help a judge make a custody decision that is in the best interest of the children. However, custody evaluations are not the final decision-making factor. In fact, forensic evaluations are not needed in every case, but they can be an important tool when the parties involved in a divorce or custody case cannot come to an agreement.
Whether providing emotional support and tools for coping and managing emotions, or offering observations to the court about what is best for the children, mental health professionals play an important role in divorce and child custody cases.
Looking for mental health support? Check with your insurance company for list of in-network providers or you can visit PsychologyToday which allows for searches for mental health support including therapists, psychiatrists, treatment centers, and support groups. Results can be filtered by specializations, insurance, in-person/online, and gender.
At Donnellan Law, PLLC, we know that divorce is a unique and individual experience. Although divorce is common, every situation is different. Attorneys build a personal “legal roadmap” with clients which are specifically designed to address the unique and individual circumstances in areas such as child support, custody, and spousal support.
To schedule an initial consultation, visit www.dlawfirmny.com/contact.