Divorce can be a hard time for kids. They lash out, become distant, lie; basically, your kids can seem like a person you’ve never met. But, there’s a line between general ‘teenage angst’ and parental alienation. You need to know what the line is and how to respond to it.
What parental alienation looks like
Parental alienation happens when one parent tries to damage your relationship with your child. It’s not always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it’s subtle and persistent. Watch for patterns like:
- Your child refuses contact without a clear reason
- One parent speaks negatively about you in front of your child
- Your child repeats the other parent’s anger or fear
- Communication or visitation is blocked or delayed
- Your child seems uncomfortable showing affection toward you
These signs don’t confirm alienation on their own. But when they appear together, they raise serious concerns.
Why courts take it seriously
New York courts take parental alienation seriously because it can harm a child’s emotional development. Judges consider how each parent supports the child’s relationship with the other, and those factors can affect custody decisions.
But courts don’t act on one-off comments. Getting frustrated and venting near your child—while not ideal—won’t lead to a custody change. Judges look for a pattern of behavior that shows intent to damage the child’s bond with the other parent.
In Matter of Scicutella v Osorio (2025), the court modified custody after finding repeated interference. When that kind of pattern becomes clear, it can shift the outcome of your case.
Your presence matters
There’s nothing more painful than feeling your child slip away. If that distance seems driven by your ex’s actions, act early. Parental alienation often builds quietly. It may not look aggressive, but over time, it can reshape how your child sees you. Stay calm. Stay consistent. Your steadiness can protect your bond and preserve your place in your child’s life—even when it feels like you’re being pushed out.